I remember for years being told I had to do 30 minutes of cardio (getting puffy) exercise every day, lift some weights a few times a week, get tummy trim and butt shiny, and to be honest even now I follow that rule, from top to toe.
BUT no-one told me to get mentally fit OR what that really means.
As a woman in my 40’s (the higher end), I now know what I wish I had known back in my late teens, early twenties (even my mid-thirties and forties) and that is (1) I should be mentally and emotionally engaged to understand how I should be facing my emotions and (2) that this would then give me valuable tools to cope with my rollercoaster of mental health and emotions, all of which I could learn from to improve my life and those in it. Sounds easy, right? Well yes in theory, but it takes some work and mindset change to arrive at your destination, and remember everyone’s destination will be different…so never compare yourself to anyone, at any time.
USE YOUR OXYGEN MASK FIRST!
My 5 Top Tips for improving your mental and emotional wellbeing.
- Communication – talking is key. We need to be able to express how we feel, whether that be with a friend, professional, family member or someone else. Maybe writing down how you feel and sharing this with someone might also help? Communication is up there for me every time and is a powerful tool to have in my tool-box.
Do you have someone to talk to?
Do you need someone to talk to?
Would love to hear from you.
- Boundaries – One of my favourite tips will always be boundaries. Just because you like or love someone, doesn’t mean you can’t have boundaries around them. Maybe it is time to tighten up the circle around you and lean in with the people you need NOT the people you don’t. Do you know what your boundaries are and why and with whom?
- Sleep – Rest. Sleep deprivation can lead to depression. It is a vicious circle; you may be struggling with speaking up, talking, not having the right boundaries around the people in your life and worrying at night alas sleep patterns become topsy turvy. This can be a long term problem if you don’t deal with it when it arises. You need to rest. There are some natural sleeping aids out there that can help such as Valerian Root, Chamomile Tea not to mention good old Lavender in your bath. Maybe speak to a holistic therapist for some support on this, here are a few recommends also:
– Relaxed Melodies App – 5 Stars
– Sarah Burns, MBE and Smart Works Reading Founder recommends the Calm App and uses sleep pillow spray and black out blinds.
– Other apps recommended to me are Calm, Insight timer, Sleepio and SleepStation
– Or maybe speak to someone at www.nice.org.uk/insomnia who could help, recommended by Pamela Myles-Hooton
- Speaking up – speaking up comes under communication but more than that, speaking up and out and using your lessons to share with others is a powerful tool and something that I learnt in the latter years of my life. Many others can benefit from your voice, and many will respect you for sharing – maybe a friend, family member or an audience member? Whoever it is will give someone somewhere some help and much needed support, which continues to expand our collective engagement with mental and emotional health awareness.
Have you seen my ‘speaking workshops’?
- Forgiveness – the toughest tip but the best tip. Forgiveness. Why would you want to forgive anyone who has hurt you. Simples. To free yourself from the pain and the bitterness eating you up and holding you down. Let go, forgive. Release yourself from this heavy burden. If you have been hurt then remember that those that hurt you, have most likely got their own issues to deal with, but they aren’t your problem, you are your worry and for that reason you need to focus back on what you need; communication, boundaries, sleep, speaking up and forgiveness.
If you have done something you bitterly regret, then find some peace, some lessons to take that you can flip to your positive space. You are not alone, we all need to forgive ourselves, others and life and the freedom this will bring will continue to help you balance out your emotional space.
Such big subjects, but subjects that will be reinforced regularly because we all need to know it is ok, we can talk, put boundaries into place, speak up, sleep and forgive. It is a good thing to let go, it is probably more therapeutic that having your tummy trim and butt shiny, well maybe?
Written by Emma-Jane Taylor, Author of Don’t Hold Back
As a Keynote Speaker, Author and CEO of The Works Company, I understand the mounting pressure on women’s lives and why it is important to share our top tips and advice to support each other. I would love to hear from you, anytime, so please do feel free to get in touch!
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